!upstarter Punk Reviews

(c)2008 DC Jam Records
Rating:

This is the kind of music that makes people want to punch babies.  I’ve never been a huge fan of babies (except for yours, of course), so it’s more telling to say that this cd made me want to kick puppies.  18 tracks of useless, casio-keyboard-fueled, Ernest Borgnine referencing lyrics — I was sobbing with relief when the cd was over.

Thinking it might be my bias against creepy esoteric jazz, I checked with my Mister (a Zappa and Mike Patton fan) — maybe I was missing something?  No, he assured me, this cd is not Zappa-esque, it’s not layered with subtle genius nor painstakingly composed. This is the sort of crap that Mr. Bungle’s under-the-stairs dwelling troglodyte brother would bang out if he got loose.  Sorry, but I found little redeeming social value in this. Skip this if you don’t want to stab your eyeballs out with dull forks, and please don’t give this to impressionable children.

-HK-47

(c) 2008 Horns Up Records
Rating:

Here’s a pretty pedestrian and sophomoric effort from a band that could have potential if they would evolve past their neanderthal nihilism and misogyny. 12 tracks plus a “mystery” cut at the end, all of which are filled with recess level anger and an obvious sense of inadequacy. I thought that by the time that 2009 rolled around we could all grow a bit. Apparently I was mistaken. I guess that if you like your days filled with hate and strippers then maybe you’ll enjoy, but frankly I’ve got better ways to spend my time.

–Jerry Actually