!upstarter Punk Reviews

© 2010

Rating:

Fancy Blood is the new EP by Los Angeles band Scarlet Grey. I find the disc to be an overly produced, consumer driven, radio oriented product designed for heavily marketed to, radio baited consumer rats.

So you’re like, “ok then, what’s in it for me, the guy (or gal) you, in so many words, called a total knob douche?” To that I say, “It ain’t a total wash there buddy. I mean you can still buy some cool shit at Hot Topic, right? You just don’t tell anyone. It’ll ruin your street cred.”

Ok, but really aside from my preferential jackassery, the songs are a bit on the catchy side and they’re well played and recorded if a bit over produced. I can see how people that like emo-esque non-threatening alterna-punk could very well like this sort of thing. The question is though, do you trade eternal fame for being tomorrow’s Alphaville?

Ok, enough of my bashing. Track five, Naomi is easily the winner on the EP. It has a rather retro 60’s synthpop sound and I actually kind of like it in spite of myself.

I’ll also waste precious little time telling you about the guest vox from none other than Davey Havoc. Yes, little baby Danzig lends a hand (or throat) to the fellas of Scarlet Grey. … Remember when AFI was punk?

The bottom line is this: If you are a radio friendly rocker, don’t listen to me. Go ahead and rock this for yourself, just don’t come crying to me when your mom won’t buy you tickets to the show.

-Jerry

(c)2008 DC Jam Records
Rating:

This is the kind of music that makes people want to punch babies.  I’ve never been a huge fan of babies (except for yours, of course), so it’s more telling to say that this cd made me want to kick puppies.  18 tracks of useless, casio-keyboard-fueled, Ernest Borgnine referencing lyrics — I was sobbing with relief when the cd was over.

Thinking it might be my bias against creepy esoteric jazz, I checked with my Mister (a Zappa and Mike Patton fan) — maybe I was missing something?  No, he assured me, this cd is not Zappa-esque, it’s not layered with subtle genius nor painstakingly composed. This is the sort of crap that Mr. Bungle’s under-the-stairs dwelling troglodyte brother would bang out if he got loose.  Sorry, but I found little redeeming social value in this. Skip this if you don’t want to stab your eyeballs out with dull forks, and please don’t give this to impressionable children.

-HK-47

(c) 2008 Horns Up Records
Rating:

Here’s a pretty pedestrian and sophomoric effort from a band that could have potential if they would evolve past their neanderthal nihilism and misogyny. 12 tracks plus a “mystery” cut at the end, all of which are filled with recess level anger and an obvious sense of inadequacy. I thought that by the time that 2009 rolled around we could all grow a bit. Apparently I was mistaken. I guess that if you like your days filled with hate and strippers then maybe you’ll enjoy, but frankly I’ve got better ways to spend my time.

–Jerry Actually